I have not posted in a while here - not that there is nothing happening, much the opposite. There are so many things happening and so much exciting news and testimonies to share that I have been overwhelmed with all of the details. I am not wanting to leave anything out, but then again, you signed up for a blog, not a novel! I have been pondering what to write and what not to write - how can you even edit down God's goodness and all that he is doing??? I dunno! That's why it's taken me so long; not that I have it figured out at all but hey, I guess you don't have to read it all if you don't want to but I have a feeling that once you start to hear of all the amazing miracles taking place you won't really care about how long it is or maybe you'll take a break and come back and read more later? All I know is that I am amazed by our glorious, all powerful, all knowing, all loving God that has come down from heaven, into earth and given up his life for us and even then has sent us the Holy Spirit to dwell within us and help us in our daily lives. WOAH!
Ok, so we have had almost 3 full weeks of teachings since my last update. We have had some very intense teachings on the Holy Spirit, plumbline (I'll explain), and missional living. We had two wonderful teachers for Plumbline and Holy Spirit week that are originally from South Africa and now work at the YWAM base in Tyler, TX as full time missionaries. Barbara taught the majority of plumbline and Roy taught Holy Spirit week. They are a power couple for sure. God is doing and has done amazing things in their lives and through their ministry of teaching these two weeks.
When the week started out I was a bit nervous of what it was all going to be about. Plumbline. What is that even? You may know, I hadn't a clue! I was thinking of the underground plumbing or something of the sort. Well, actually, it is one of those pendulum things that you hold in the air by the string and it swings back and forth until it stops dead on straight with the weight thing at the bottom pointing straight down. I am not sure that made any sense to anyone else but me - so if not, google it! :) Bryan said he used to use it in surveying land if that helps anyone understand.
Wayne started out introducing the class and preparing us for the impending .... well, I'll just tell you how he explained it.. if you are snacking, you may want to pause.... Ok, you put your food away yet? If not, I'll assume you have a strong stomach and I am not responsible for any damages done to your keyboard. Ok, it's not THAT bad but it is nasty...
He explained that we must first acknowledge we have a wound. When we have a wound and it is not treated properly what happens? Infection sets in.. it becomes / stays painful. He described a festering wound and even eluded to a boil that must be lanced when you go to the Dr. to get it taken care of. He very descriptively expressed how the wound must be opened up and the infection dug out of it where they take the gauze and repeatedly flush the wound and scrape it over and over until all infection is removed. OUCH and EWWW! Then if you go to a traditional ER then they will apply gauze and antibiotics - we however would apply essential oils to treat the infection and then the final step would be healing. 1. Acknowledge 2. dig out infection 3. oils 4. healing.
I don't know about you but most people, especially me would prefer to just get healing. I don't want to think about the wound, dig it up and out and treat it and then heal. I want it over and done with. I suppose that's why I've had so many struggles in my life and partial healings. I want the quick fix. I want to stuff it. I don't want to think about, much less talk about my painful past and all the hurts from childhood to now. I want to move on. I want to forget it. Well folks, I'm here to tell you that doesn't work. Not anyway, not anyhow. You see when you don't want to even acknowledge the wound - ok, I would acknowledge the wounds - I did not however acknowledge the infection that had set in that was wreaking havoc in my body and spirit - when you don't do that - you don't get the infection out and it festers and what does infection do? It spreads. We must clear out the infection and allow Jesus to come in and do his healing work and then .. we are healed! We no longer have a wound, we have a scar and you wanna know something cool about scars? They don't hurt.
You may never forget what happened to you, that's ok. But hopefully, after you reading this maybe you too will find that you need healing of some old, festering wounds and will seek the Father and receive healing! I'll tell you more of how I received my healing and my process as we go on. Just know, there is hope! If you know my back story, you know I have dealt with immense amounts of abuse in my life, from all aspects - physical, emotional, verbal. I have had many hurts from past relationships, shoot, even present relationships. I am a stuffer. I stuff it and "forget about it" only, I don't really forget. Instead I spend 50% or more of my energy (as do most people per some stats we were given) suppressing those memories and trying to "not think about it". I have come to terms that this way of living is not working for me. I want freedom. I want healing. Let's dig a little deeper and see what lies beneath the surface and seek healing.
First and foremost, we must know who we are. Who are you? Where are you coming from? Where are you going? What is valuable to you? If you are like me your first responses to those questions may have gone a little something like this: I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a sister, I am a daughter. I come from a hard past full of pain - but I'm ok! I am not sure where I'm going. God? My family is valuable to me, integrity and truth are valuable to me. Are we tracking? Maybe? Maybe not?
When you base your IDENTITY on a ROLE you will be in and out of identity crisis. Your ROLE is NOT your IDENTITY.
Did you read that? Did you UNDERSTAND that? Read it again.
If you are anything like me you took that as a blow to the gut and yet at the same time you think "Ok! I don't want to do that then so... WHO am I?"
Why were you born? What are your pains? What are you doing about why you were born?
Where are you going?
God calls us to have goals and objectives. We need seek the Lord for the answers to those questions above - He WILL answer you. He will tell you. You know that right? No? Try it. Stop reading now, sit back in your chair and ask the Lord - God WHO am I? WHY was I born? Where am I going? I suggest you have a pen and paper and as you listen to the Lord, write down what he tells you. Date it. Keep it. Ponder it. Pray for revelation. Revelation brings transformation! Get your revelation from God and ACT ON IT!
Why were you born? What are you doing about why you were born?
Whatever it is that you were born to do... DO IT!
We all have walls that we have built up. Like it or not, we do this. God will allow storms to destroy our walls and reveal our foundation. Do you struggle with Anger? I do. Did you know that Anger is a secondary emotion? It comes as a result of fear/ pain. What we are under pressure is what we truly are. Angry Christians have unresolved hurt in their lives. That was me. Ok, I am acknowledging I have pain from wounds that are infected.. step one right?
We talked about our first memories. Can your think of your first memory? Mine was a painful one. It hurt me to even think about it and now, I had to say it out loud. I was at my mom's house as a little girl where I lived with her and my big brother. One day his daddy came to pick him up for a visit. I was left behind on the porch watching as they smiled and laughed with each other, got in the car and drove away. See, the key to this story is, he was MY daddy too. I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know why bubba got to go with that man and play and I didn't. I didn't understand why I was being left behind. When I later found out that he was indeed my daddy too, that hurt even more. That was my first memory. I felt rejected. I felt abandoned. I felt left behind. What is yours? How did it make you feel?