I have been wanting to blog for a while now but things just kept coming up and day after day I think, "I need to sit down and write an update"but alas, I don't. I think that some of that is I don't know what to write about and the other is there is so much to write about.. I know I'm not making much sense right now. I feel conflicted about it. I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind that I just want to be sure to write about the things God wants me to and to not write on and on and on.. (yeah right- you know me - I don't know how to NOT write on and on and on...) I want it to be a beneficial post for you all and for me.
I suppose we'll pick up where I left off back in the fall... I became incredibly ill starting in late November. I continued to struggle with my health all the way through to January. I had one thing after another - started with a severe sinus infection, then flu B, and then bronchitis! I was MISERABLE! I thought I was dying. I was bedridden, unable to walk without assistance, not able to keep anything down, and loosing weight faster than I could imagine, and had NO voice for 2 1/2 weeks. I was in and out of the Dr office just about every week. I have not really mentioned this on here before or really to anyone until I got so sick this last time that I have Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed with it about 5 years ago. The doctor then thought it could be the early onset of Lupus or MS. I tried several meds with her and nothing seemed to work or I was allergic to it. The story of my life! I swear, I am allergic to just about everything, my immune system is so low that if I LOOK at someone that is sick across the room, I am sick! lol I do have to be careful of my surroundings for sure.
Anyway, I missed several weeks of church and of course work. Yes, we do own our own bakery, but Bryan and I have been running it alone for a while now. We had 2 locations for about 9 months. When my health took a downward spiraling turn we had to close the MWC location. This broke my heart but at the same time I couldn't stand on my own much less run a store! So, I was only going to and from the doctor for a while. I seriously thought I was dying. I asked my doctor so that if so, I could begin to prepare for it. She assured me I was not dying but was just very, very ill. I began to feel a bit better, had stopped throwing up everything and decided it was time to try to join the land of the living again and went to church.
The day I finally was able to return to church was a pretty off thing... It was Bryan's grandma's birthday and we were to bring the cake. So, in order to make the cake, go to church, and get to her house anywhere close to the time they planned we had to go to the first service. We typically go to the 2nd service. We had gotten there and dropped the kids off in their classrooms. Ayden wanted to go with us to worship in our service. It is typical for him to want to do that and then go to his class. This day however, Ayden wanted to stay the entire service. So, we are at a service we never go to, Ayden is staying in the service with us, and it's my first time to be at church in about 2 months. All out of sorts for the normalcy of our Sundays. Before Pastor Sam began to preach he called up two families who shared their stories of healing. I listened and while I was happy for them, I was crying and asking God why he wasn't healing me. I couldn't even stand for the worship service. To be completely honest, I was getting mad at God. I didn't understand why he wouldn't heal me. Why had he allowed me to be so sick? Was he punishing me? What had I done so wrong to deserve months of sickness, for my body to be completely giving out on me?
As Pastor Sam preached, I felt more and more broken. I was hurting so bad, physically and emotionally. Pastor had said he was going to open the altar and pray over the sick. I couldn't keep the tears from falling. I wanted healing, I was going to go forward for sure! I had already planned to ask for him to call the elders available to come and pray over me as I had done every other step. Before he opened the altar he passed off the mic to two men that I knew as elders. One read some verses and said that God had given him a word for someone with breathing issues and that if that was your child and they were in service with you to bring them up, and if they weren't to go get them or stand in the gap. My heart was racing! This was Ayden! He has had breathing trouble since he was born! We spent time in the NICU and in and out of the pediatrics unit at Children's and Baptist Hospital for most of his 1st year of life. I was excited for Ayden and yet at the same time frustrated, asking God what about me?
The other man shared what God was speaking to him for a specific woman who was in this service who had been to the doctor in the last 10 days and received bad news. He said that he felt that this woman was to come down for prayer and accept the healing. He stepped back and lowered the mic... I was now ready to jump out of my seat. My heart was pounding faster and faster. He picked the mic back up and said that he isn't sure why but he sees the letters "S. and J." and that if that was confirmation for you to come forward. My heart sank... I didn't know those letters... Then they said that if the Lord is quickening your heart, don't hesitate, come forward. I thought and said Lord, S J means nothing to me.. just then, I visualized my RX bottle - upper right hand side... Semore, Jennifer. MY DOCTOR! SJ!!! Bryan and I headed down front the second they opened the altar. We went to Tom Ball, the elder who had shared the call for the woman. Through my sobbing, I said, "We're both!" "SJ, that's my doctor!"
I couldn't gather the words to say between the sobs and Bryan took over. He explained that I had been very ill for months and had been to the doctor 10 days ago. I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and were waiting for test results for other diseases/disorders. I had to have assistance of the chairs as well as my husband to even make it to the altar. We prayed and he anointed me with oil and prayed for healing for both Ayden and I. As I walked back to my seat, the limping was lessened. We walked towards the backroom to pickup kids and the limping became less and less. By the time we made it to the exit I was walking on my own! Over the last few weeks I have felt better and better! I have been able to go to the doctor again and get a good medicine routine and I'm doing much better! Ayden has greatly reduced his need for his breathing machine. We are doing so good!
I still have to take it easy. I am learning to slow down a bit. I love that it has brought me closer to God and I have yet another testimony of my life to share with others who are struggling. I have done a study on healing over the last few weeks and am understanding more about why Christ died for us. He not only died for our sins, but for our sickness! He died to give us life! I'm so excited about life and living to share his word with others! I love what God is doing in my life!