Monday, October 24, 2011

Why are we adopting?

Watch this..

God has called us ALL to care for the widow and the orphans.
We have chosen to follow his call on our lives to adopt these kiddos.
They are important.
They deserve a future filled with love and hope and a family!
They deserve to be brought up in a family that will love them and teach them the ways of God.

We love because we were first loved.
We adopt because we were first adopted.
Yes, we!
YOU, ME, ALL OF US are adopted!
God has accepted us into his family and that my friends is the best gift ever.
The gift of life.
The gift of love.

We need God to provide in so many ways for us to be able to get these kiddos home.
We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has a great plan for Tanya and Misha!
We know that God will provide for each and every need, spoken and unspoken.

We are actively pursuing these kiddos and will not waiver to look to the left or the right at this circumstance or that; but we will remain steadfast and follow the plan God has for our family.

We do have a substancial financial need and that is no secret.
Costs increase the second you have to make additional trips and of course when there is another child added.
We don't believe that this is happening by accident, this situation did not take God by surprise.
He wants us to hold on, remain faithful, fully trusting and obey.

Everyone can do something - whether that is to pray or to give, we can all do something.
Please consider what God would have you to do to help in giving Tanya and Misha a future filled with love from a family.

Tax deductable donations can be made through:

or you can always click the paypal button on the right of this blog to donate.

You can also send donations marked "personal" to avoid paypal fees to through paypal. 

We truly appreciate all of your prayers and support and are looking forward to seeing God do mighty things in all of our lives as a result of all of our obedience.

Thank you!

On a side note, we have been asked why are you adopting from over seas?
Well, my response to that contains several answers but the most important is that is what God has called our family to do.
Yes, there are kids here in the US that need families.
Yes, we support those adoptions too.
God called us to take care of the orphans period... not jus those fortunate enough to be born in the good ole US of A.
The children of Ukraine and many other countries are not given a chance.
They are not given the same opportunities that orphans or even those in foster care receive here in the US.
They are thrown out on the streets with NOTHING at a VERY young age.
70% of those girls who age out of the orphanage system will end up in prostitution and DIE with in 1 year.
70% of the boys who age out of the orphanage system will end up in drugs and DIE within 1 year.

Another question has been why are you adopting if you can't afford it?
We can afford the kids.
Every family has to go through extreme background and financial checks to show you can financially support these kids.
It is a rare occassion that someone has $25,000 (or more for more kids) just lying in a bank account.
Sure, we could wait and say, oh God, we don't have the money to do that right now, or we can walk in faith and trust that he will provide for what he has called us to do.
We choose the latter.

If everyone waited until they had the money upfront to adopt then many, many more orphans would die, alone, unloved, and forgotten.

We have supported many adoptions in the past before our family was called to adopt ourselves.
We will continue to support adoptions after we are done as well.

The time is urgent and the need is great.
We have 2 weeks before we leave to head back to get our kiddos and we are working and praying and trusting for every dime to come in.

Food for thought..
People finance cars they can't afford everyday.
People buy homes on credit everyday.
People eat lunch and buy gas on credit everyday.
People fundraise for schools, sports, church and more.
We are raising money for two precious lives....

Saturday, October 22, 2011

October 13, 2011 Public Transit System Adventures!

Today was a fun day!
Exciting and a bit nerve wracking at the same time!
Our morning started out with breakfast with the lovely Svetta and her hubby Yurie.
Svetta had to go into Kiev to work today so we decided we'd venture out with her and figure out how to get to and from the house using the public transit system.

I'm almost ashamed to admit I've rarely used public transportation back home.
Of course, I have a car back home so it's not really that necessary for us there.

We must leave the house at about 10 after 8 to walk about 10 -15 minutes from the house to the bus station around the corner.
It is COLD so we walk very briskly to warm ourselves up.
Let me tell you my face and lips have been so chapped this trip with all the bitter cold winds.

We made it to the bus stop just in time!
Not a minute to spare!
We were walking up and saw the bus pulling off to leave!
We ran the last few steps to catch it before it left us.

It is a quaint little yellow bus with curtains inside.
There is a clerk that rides next to the driver who gets up and goes back and forth throughout the bus to collect payment for the ride.
It is a very inexpensive way to travel.
It cost us 5 gryvna to go from a town about 30 minutes away to Kiev. 
That is equal to about $0.63 per person.
 Here is a picture of Svetta and I on the bus into Kiev.

Riding the bus is much less stressful than riding in a car in this traffic for some reason.
I can relax much more and not worry as much.
Not sure why but I'm good with it.

After about 30 minutes we had arrived at the Metro Station. 
This is basically a mix of a train and a subway. 
It goes underground at points and is above ground and even over water at points.

At this Metro Station there are a bunch of vendors set up there that is called a "Bazaar".
It seemed to be endless!
We'll have to check this out soon!
It seems to be like a flea market as we call it in Oklahoma. 

Here's a picture of the type of bus we were on. 

Here's a picture of the Metro.
This thing goes FAST!

It is also a VERY popular mode of transportation!

I mean, the crowds are overwhelming!
It is seriously packed at all times!
I was trying to capture a picture of the mounds of people that were making their way up the escalator to the outside of the Metro and caught an officer in the crossfire of my camera lense.
I think he realized I wasn't trying to take his picture and was ok after the fact.

We spent the day in Kiev with a few friends.
Our friends from church back home had just arrived in Kiev to do their adoption and so we met up with them for a bit and enjoyed visiting.

After a while Jake and Ashley called us back to say they were headed out and about Kiev and we should meet up.  We met up with them after some confusion on which  McDonalds to meet at - there are two almost across the street from each other.
Even closer than any in America!

We went around town and explored the underground mall with them as they searched for gifts to take home to friends and family.

Turns out when we needed to head back to meet Svetta to catch the Metro and bus back home they were headed to their afternoon visit.
We all had to go to the same stop and so we caught the Metro together.
Svetta was kind enough to snap this picture of the four of us on the Metro.

There is a really neat thing that happens on the Metro.
At least I think so.
There are many people that do business on the metro.
For example this guy...
He was going from car to car with his buddy playing the guitar and the according for tips.
It is neat to see things like this!
Here he is in the next car.
The one in the Red hoodie :) 

We got off the Metro and were headed to the bus and along the way there were many street vendors with everything you could imagine for sale.
This was a fruit stand.
Good stuff!

We got home and was sure to note the bus number we needed to catch to go back and forth so we could venture out alone if need be.

When we arrived at the house, Yurie was outside working in the yard.

I suppose Bryan was in need of doing some work.
You know, other than the emotionally exhausting and physically draining work we've been doing here. LOL
So, he took the mower from Yurie and got to work.
This did not make Yurie happy or Svetta either.
We were guests and were not to work.
This didn't matter to Bryan, he continued.
So, after a bit, Yurie gave up and worked on something else as Bryan  mowed the yard.

While they worked, Svetta showed me around the property.

I got to meet the guard dog, Lorg.
He is MASSIVE and has a really mean bark! 

I got to taste some home grown grapes straight from the vine.
Boy, were those things tart!
They had such vibrant purple juice that stained my hands I they reminded me of blueberries!
Svetta uses these to make her own juice and jellies.

We also walked around back and she showed me her garden where she grows most all of the vegetables they use for eating.
They have a potato farm about 3 hours away that keeps them stocked on fresh potatoes.
She made us homemade mashed potatoes almost every dinner.
It was fabulous!

As you can imagine, this day wore us out..
Here's the love of my life, passed out on the couch.

Excited to see my girl tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

October 12, 2011 No boredom today!

Visit at the orphanage on October 12, 2011

We started out our morning by running to the SDA to pick up some paperwork Sasha needed to get for another family.  While he was inside we decided to become tourists for a bit.
We walked up and down the shops on "the hill" as it is known in the adoption world.
It is basically that, a hill; with lots of vendors lining the streets selling souvineers of all kinds!
Literally, all kinds.
Some cool, some Ukrainian, some that have nothing to do with Ukraine and others that are just plain creepy.
What do I mean by creepy, you may ask.
Well, how about a skin of an animal.
Yeah, like a fur.
But, it still has its entire body, including the feet and head!

We also saw the world's largest Matrovska / Babushka doll - Nesting doll. 

This ummm lovely? shirt...
I think that was to say Nokia??  

It was FREEZING outside and I did not pack for this kind of weather.
It was in the 70's on the forecast we saw and the first week we were here.
It has been so cold since then.
So, I got a scarf.
Blue and Yellow with Ukraine written in Cyrillic on it :) 

After our touristy walk up and down "the hill" it was time to head out to the orphanage.
No small feat by any means!
Of course, in Ukraine, there are lots of dogs.
Stray dogs.
Stray dogs that are allowed to stay on the streets.
There is no animal control here.
No doggy police.
So, there is, as my Ukrainian friends say, "big problem" with dogs.
They are everywhere!
They like to chase the cars and bark at them.
Thankfully they haven't approached us in a negative way. 
They are usually laying there resting or up following people to find food.

Traffic here is horrendous!
As you can see by the many cars, it is like this everywhere, especially in Kiev.
Downtown Kiev is a place I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER want to drive!
I don't care if there is 4 feet of snow, I will walk or ride in a cab or stay home!
It is seriously enough to drive a person insane.
So, if you ever start to wonder about me .. think and remember the traffic in Kiev.. it must have gotten to me!
In all seriousness, it is crazy!
I mean, one thing I never thought I'd be grateful for is stop lights, pedestrian crossings only at lights, passing lanes and no passing zones.
The drivers here drive wherever they can, even if that is into oncoming traffic as long as they can swoop back over into the proper lane in enough time.
We've had a few close encouters.
By close encouners I mean, I could reach out my window and touch the car next to me without streching my arm!  Oh, and there was that MAC truck coming at us head on.. yeah, my life seemed too short in that instant replay! 

We have a strenous drive to the orphanage, which is one of the reasons we only go every other day.  It is a 2 1/2 hour drive from where we are staying to the orphanage.  We stay there for about 2 hours and make the 2 1/2 hour treck back. 
Makes for a long day.

However, THIS face, is worth it all!

On the way to the orphanage, since we were already in downtown and had had such a rough visit with nothing to do the other day I decided we should stop and get some yarn to play with.
No, not like a cat, to make things, like scarves or finger weaving.
So, we found the store and got a couple of different colors of yarn and a crochet hook.  I thought it would be fun to teach my girl how to make a chain out of yarn with nothing but her hands and maybe even crotchet.  I'm telling you, I must be having Hobby Lobby and Michael's withdrawals because, this tiny little hole in the wall store had me so excited with all the beadwork, knitting, crocheting and other crafty supplies.
I wanted to buy it all!
I settled for the yarn and hook.

We got to the orphanage and the kids were outside playing.
It was not too aweful out in the sun.
Tanya was in the middle of the soccer game with all the boys.
That's a good thing she gets right in there with the boys as she, Lou and I are outnumbered at our house!
She was really getting after that ball!
I was so proud!  Felt just like I was watching her play in a real leauge game.  I was yelling and cheering her on in both English and my best Ukranian.
Not sure anyone really understood a word I said, but they knew..
I am Tanya's momma and I'm proud!
That's all that mattered!

The loud bell rang and vibrated in my ear drums.
All the kids ran to get their coats back on and followed their teacher back to class.
Must have just been recess.
We followed Tanya to her class where she had some homework to do.
We arrived at her desk and what else would we find?
A ball of yarn and a crotchet hook!
Yes, seriously!
I was so excited!
We were both thinking of doing the same thing today! 
How cool!
Thanks God!
It was math time for her and I sat there with her trying to figure out what the problems were and with a little help from Sasha we figured out it was breaking down decimeters into cenimeters and adding them etc.
She finished her math and moved on to some Ukranian.
Not really sure that's what they call it but we would say English when you were doing homework about finding words.. that's what she was doing.
We asked how much more she had to do and if we could go visit and were told it was just homework and she could do it later or finish now.
She decided to finish that section and then to go play with us.
As we were sitting there waiting, I saw a card on the corner of her desk and noticed that she had been quite bashful since sitting at her desk.  I wondered what the card was and picked it up to look at it.
I couldn't make out what it said as I unfortunately don't know how to read Cyrillic .. yet.
I opened it and saw what I thought said Tanya and Mama.
There was a big heart on one side with a lot of writing and on the other there was a picture of two people  with hearts above their heads.
I asked a few minutes later what the card was and was told it was for us!
I smiled so big and opened it, showed Bryan and Sasha and waited for the translation.
It said Mama and Papa,
I love you Mama,
I love you so much Papa.
It wished us good health.
It also asked us to take Grandpa to America too because he will cry with out her.
The picture is Bryan on the left and myself on the right.
Made me cry!
So special! 

We held hands and made our way upto her bedroom where we sat on her bed and had fun crotcheting together and learning to finger weave.

She was really a quick learner!
She did a great job!
I did get to teach her how to actually crotchet, she only had learned to make the original chain so that made me happy that we could share this together. 
We are making a scarf together :)

Here is a picture of the necklace we made.
When we were leaving I asked her if she wanted us to bring back the yarn next time and she said no, I want you to leave it here! :) 
She really enjoyed it.
I left the orange for her to teach her friends to make necklaces and she promised to make me one when we returned. 
So happy walking with her Daddy!
Look at that SMILE!!!
We're seeign it more and more often!

And we were off...
If you remember my comments on how bad the roads are here, you'll appreciate this..
We were driving down the road with Sasha trying to miss most of the potholes and we hit one.
It slammed the car so hard and it was so loud!
I saw something fly off the car and across the street into the field.
I hollered to Sasha that his hub cap just flew off and we stopped to turn around and go back to get it.
It actually rolled back across into the field on the other side of the street!
That was a powerful ejection!
Bryan and Sasha got out to search for it and thankfully found both pieces and put it back on.
I was cracking up laughing! 

Fun times in Ukraine!
Great day with our girl!
Tomorrow we would venture out into Kiev via the public transit system...
A bit nervous...yes..

Monday, October 17, 2011

Update from Oct 11, 2011- Ayden's 5th Birthday

Ayden's Birthday

October 11, 2011

Tuesday was a hard day for this Momma!
It was my baby boy's 5th birthday and I was here, in Ukraine; he was there, in Oklahoma.
This broke my heart!
We were able to skype with all the kids and see him have his birthday cupcake from our lounge of course!
He kept telling us he wasn't 5 yet cause you wasn't here for my birthday.  :(
Why you not here Momma?
The question broke my heart!
Because, sweet boy, I am here doing what God has asked us to do to work on getting Sister home!
You are 5!
I am so proud of you!
Happy Birthday Sugar Pie!

The song promptly started and I beleive I made it through about 1/2 of a verse...

"Happy birthday to you.. *tear, tear , still singing through the tears*
Happy birthday to you**sob, sob, no longer singing**
Happy birthday dear Ayden **Look away from the web cam as I am bawling like a baby**
Happy birthday to you!"

Try to force a smile and look happy through the horribly ugly sobbing cry that was really taking place.

This. is. HARD. people!

No lies!

NEVER did I EVER anticipate missing a birthday for one of my kids. EVER.

Of course, I've missed way more than this one.

I just didn't know it at the time.

Let's see, try to put it in perspective here, I have missed 13 of Adrian's birthdays, 9 of Tanya's birthdays and 4 of Misha's birthdays, along with 1 of Ayden's.

What a mom?!
Totally kidding, but I know that they know that I love them even though I am not always there in person, my heart has always been and always will be with them even when it is impossible for me to do so physically.

Did you add those up?

You know you wanted to!

WOW, she really missed THAT many??
I know what you're thinking!


How many was it though? Really?

Fine, I'll go add them up since you won't!
Let's see..
13 + 9 + 4+ 1=

I need a caculator for that one!

Yes, I'm serious!





Beat that!
Ha ha ha!

It's ok, laugh it's funny!

In life, we must decide on many occassions in many circumstances to laugh or cry...
I cried, and now, I laugh!

It's all good!

Yes, I miss my babies like crazy, (yes, I still call my 14 year old my baby) and I can't wait to be home to love on them, but I am on a mission and must do what I came to do.

God is in control and I'm alright with that!
He knew I'd miss the special day and he used that to mold me and make me better and more like him.
You know, sometimes molding hurts..just sayin!

Real bad.

So, Tuesday was a day off from the orphanage and Ayden's birthday, so, after the sobbing we hung out around the house and just enjoyed the day at home or Doma as you say in Russian.

Ok, so I slept MOST of the day.. I got up at 2pm despite Bryan's insessant noise making of coming in and out to do the laundry!
That's right ladies, he did the laundry and he's MINE! :)
I sure am blessed!
Even though at the time I could care less about the laundry, I wanted SILENCE!  I was FINALLY sleeping!  Let me be!
It mattered not, I rolled over each time and went right back to sleep!

When I woke up I had already decided it was going to be a rough day but I would do my best to handle it.
Catch that?
MY best.
Like I can handle that alone!
So, as soon as I set my feet on the cold floors I heard my Father calling me, inviting me to come and spend some time with him, to share with him what I was feeling, thinking, wanting and to just let him hold me and heal me.

I honestly wasn't too sure about this.. I didn't want to cry.
I didn't want to talk about it.
I wanted to call my boy as soon as the clock struck 4pm (8am at home or Doma) and dream about being there.
God reminded me, but you are here.
I am here.
I want to help you.
Lean on me.

I fell onto my knees and put my face into my bed and began praying to God.
It was as though he shut me up right there, dead in my tracks, Alecia, I don't need to hear the ritual stuff.
I want to hear how you are doing.

God, you KNOW how I'm doing.

Yes, I do, but I love you and I want you to tell me.
How do you feel?

How do I feel?
You KNOW how I feel!
Yes, I do, but tell me..

Ok, fine.
I feel horrible!
I feel sad!
I feel scared.
I am scared, God, scared of what is happening, scared of what is not happening, scared of what will happen.
I don't know which way is up and this is killing me!
I don't know what is going on with little brother or even Tanya at this point.
I am hurt and scared!
I sobbed as I sat in my Daddy's lap and told him all the things that were hurting deep inside and rested in his ever faithful arms as he prodded a bit further.

I am with you.
Now, tell me, what do you want?

What do you mean what do I want?

What do you want in this situation?

It was as though he was making me realize all along I had been saying, Oh, I just want God's will.  Whatever his will is, we'll be ok and we'll do it.
While this is true, MY DADDY wanted to know what his daughter wanted.

Here was my chance!
It's time to be honest.

I WANT them both.

Whew, there I said it.
I didn't ever expect those words to come out of my mouth.
I didn't want to admit it for some reason.. maybe because of the flack we already take for wanting more children.  Maybe because I was unsure of what was going to happen and didn't want to show that my heart already felt as though he was mine.
But, my Daddy knew, and he wanted me to say it.
I needed to say it and I needed to hear it.

That felt good.
I want him too God!

I immediately felt better.
I knelt down that afternoon feeling as though I needed a great big hug and consolement and that's exactly what I got as he told me to go to his word and look at a scripture that has been dear to my heart for months now; Isaiah 41:13.
Of course, I KNOW this scripture so I was sure to remind him of that,
Lord, I know that scripture, and I proceeded to quote it..

and he said..
No, look at it.
I have more to show you.
Read farther.
So, I pulled it up on my nifty app on my iPad and I felt like his arms were coming out of those words and wrapping themselves around me like a great big hug.
Just what I needed.

I'm going to share those words with you here as I never want to forget them either.
Such a special word from God to me for my family!

13 For I am the LORD your God
   who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
   I will help you.
14 Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
   little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD,
   your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
15 “See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
   new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them,
   and reduce the hills to chaff.
16 You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
   and a gale will blow them away.
But you will rejoice in the LORD
   and glory in the Holy One of Israel.
 17 “The poor and needy search for water,
   but there is none;
   their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
   I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
18 I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
   and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
   and the parched ground into springs.
19 I will put in the desert
   the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
   the fir and the cypress together,
20 so that people may see and know,
   may consider and understand,
that the hand of the LORD has done this,
   that the Holy One of Israel has created it.
Please tell me you read that?
I mean, seriously!
That was amazing!
I just smiled so big!
God was reminding me that he is right here with me, helping me and fighting those battles for me!
He is allowing MOUNTAINS in our way only so he can tear them down!
They will be blown away in the wind!
He even says in vs 17 that the poor and needy - He WILL NOT abandon them! - That's my kids y'all!
He will make things happen that we would have never imagined and will make impossible things possible!
Because I'm special?
Just as Vs 20 says -so that people may see and KNOW, may consider and understand, taht the hand of the LORD has done this!
ONLY God can make this happen and ONLY HIS NAME will be praised for all victories in our lives!

I can't wait to be on the other side of this mountain view and watch as it scatters in the wind!

Thank you LORD!
That was so great!
I was full of smiles and thanking my Daddy for such a divine word and he told me to look up.

I lifted my head and looked up at the wall...
blank.. nothing..


Oh, ok, What???
THOSE were NOT there before!
Ok, God, thank you for that special sign of love and confirmation for me, yet again!
Now, let me explain as I'm sure you're lost..

I am addicted to a few things...
no, no drugs!
I really enjoy office supplies.
I am hooked on bedding.
I love to have kitchen gadgets.

Whatever, we all have our quirky things.
I said that to tell you that I LOVE bedding and I look at the bed first when I come into a room.
I go to Bed, Bath and Beyond simply to look at all the new bedding options and dream of using them all!
Strange, I know, BUT, I notice bedding.

Remember me telling you that God gave me the butterflies as a representation of what he was going to do with this whole adoption process?

Well, looky what I found when I looked at my bed....


I remember the flowers, not the butterflies!

I thought Bryan had different bedding on his bed.. yeah we were in a room with two twin beds - tried both in one, not a great idea, so anyway, SAME SHEETS on his bed!

Bryan came in to bid me good morning / or afternoon / whatever / and I shared it all with him and we sat in amazement at our heavenly father and how much he loves US that he would give us all of these blessings.

I go out in the hallway and what do I see hanging by the stairs??

You guessed it..
More butterflies!
I have walked past this picture over and over and never noticed it was butterflies.

Dressed in Ukrainian traditional garmets..
Just like my life!

Thank you Lord for making something beautiful out of this messed up creature!

I sure love you Papa!

A Daughter of THE KING!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

How about some pictures?

Our Princess!

A card she made for us - that's me and daddy - I'll tell more about the letter soon! :)


Lovins before we leave!  I think this is the first full smile picture we've gotten of her!  She always hides it!

Daddy stealing kisses from his princess!


Tanya with her friends after the performance.

Tanya and Daddy!

Tanya and her friend - the one hugging her is the only other available child in this orphanage!
Please pray for her family to find her soon!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

day 4 at the orphanage

Day 4 at the Orphanage

Monday, October 10, 2011

After all of the excitement and emotions of yesterday, today was a totally different visit.

It was a tough visit for all of us.

Partly, I’m sure because of the stressors of Sunday’s meeting with Grandpa and partly because it was just boring!

We had literally nothing to do!

Sasha had gone to meet with the director for a bit and left us with Tanya in her room that is void of any proof that children live there other than the stuffed animals stacked neatly on the bed.

We sat and tried to talk but of course it is still so akward at this point for either of us to really figure out what the other is saying. It was rainy and cold outside so that was not an option.
So, we took more pictures!

The other kids were no where to be found and we had nothing with us to play with.

What now?

If Sasha were here now we could at least talk about things, right now we cannot communicate in any real fashion at all.

I had to think quick, what else could we do with no toys, no colors, no paper, nothing?

Hmm, how about the game we play with repetitive motions of clapping your hands together in different ways? HA! I have no idea what to call it other than patty cake but it was not the baby kind! LOL

Anyway, you get the picture…

She taught me a way she does it and I taught her a way I know and then we taught Daddy.

She enjoyed this; but it can only entertain a 9 year old for so long.. or parents for that matter!

Boredom was back, but Sasha wasn’t.

We decided to head out to find her class and on the way I picked a flower and put it behind her ear.

Of course, I had to snap a picture of my princess!
She looks a little sleepy too.
We could not find the kids where they usually are so we decided to find Sasha.

We found him in the directors office where we explained that it is very boring in the room with nothing to do and no one to help us translate so we asked if we could have some crayons and paper or even just pencils.

“Dah, dah” the director said as she went of to get some markers and a book for Tanya to color in.

We sat and colored in her office for little bit and Tanya had to go eat. When she got done we went back to her room with the notebook and markers in hand so we could color and talk some more.

We played a few games of tic-tac-toe which was fun.

Tanya was very quiet this visit, not like normal.

I can only imagine what she must be feeling and thinking.

How torn she must be with the choices she is having to make.

Choices a child should never have to make.

We hugged and kissed each other see you later for the day.

We also met with the inspector today and tried to get more info on brother.

Brother is a half sibling, they have the same biological mother.

Grandpa that comes to visit Tanya is bio dad’s dad, so no connection to little brother.

We asked about what we can do next to proceed and of course, since we are the first case under the new law no one is sure how to proceed. They decide that there needs to be a committee meeting to discuss our case and come to a conclusion as to how to proceed.

This committee meeting should take place no later than Friday of this week.

So, yet again, everything is up in the air.

We fall freely in the air and trust that God is going to catch us…

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Day 3 part 2

Orphanage Day 3 part 2

October 9, 2011

The program was about to start.

Excitement was in the air as the children were rushing about to get to their places backstage.

Nerves were flaring and emotions soaring as I sat next to the man who stands between my daughter and I who had just said

“nit hoiches.”

Those dreaded words were playing over and over in my head as though they had a broken record playing over the loud speakers.

Turn it off!

I don’t want to hear this anymore.

Just start the program already!

Please, make this go away.

As much as I wished it away, the fact remained; grandpa was here, next to me, unwilling to budge in his wishes.

Tanya is his baby too.

He loves her and looks forward to his visits with her too.

He was here to see her program as well and I’m sure this is the last thing he ever expected or wanted.

I had no way to talk to him or to do anything other than to sit back, enjoy the program, smile and be there for my daughter.

So, that’s exactly what I did.

Proud mom in the audience, camera in hand, smile on face, heart full of joy, I watched as my daughter performed.

Tanya was the cutest potato I’ve ever seen!

Her costume included a brown striped sweater stuffed full of paper with tan tights and a belt around the bottom of the sweater to hold in the paper, a necklace made of small potatoes and a black hat with potatoes around it where a ribbon would usually go. Then of course there was the dirt all over her face as potatoes are very dirty when harvested, and this play is all about Autumn and harvest!

The director of the orphanage came and sat next to us and rattled off something to grandpa about us again and again he said “nit hoiches” and “nit hirocho” ( I don’t want it and not good) she then told him it’s good and we’ll talk after the program, watch the program. I mean, honestly what could we expect from the man who loves her so much and comes to visit her. He’s done nothing wrong to her after all. He must be in severe shock and dismay! Here are these people he doesn’t know and cannot communicate with that are here to take the only thing he lives for away from him. I’m not sure I wouldn’t react the same way.

The program started and I anxiously awaited our Tanya’s turn on stage, camera in hand and ready to go!

I saw her on the stage behind the curtain on the side of the stage waiting to come on and she nervously looked out and saw her Daddy and I sitting next to her Grandpa and smiled.

She has such a beautiful smile!

I waved and smiled back at her; she sheepishly grinned and waved back then covered her mouth with her giggles and turned to her friends giggling away.

She came out and did her part perfectly!

The play was over before we knew it and it was time.. time for the talk. The director hopped up and smiled at us, went to grandpa and said “pashli” (let’s go) and led him out the door to her office. Tanya nudged her way through the crowd and came straight to me, threw her arms around me and smiled so big! We told her “molydets” (good job!) and again she grinned! We walked around the room taking pictures of all of the things the children had made out of the vegetables until we made it to the doorway. She grabbed our hands and led us back out the door and down the hallway where she stopped off to change.

Changing isn’t a private thing here.

It is done in a room full of both boys and girls with a bag of clothes that a teacher is passing out underwear and socks to each child and handing them a pair of pants and shirt to wear. The door remains open and people just walk on by as though it is not happening.

After she changed we went back to her classroom and waited for the director to come and let us know what happened with Grandpa.

A few minutes later, in came the director.

Man, I wish we had a translator today, of all days, but Sasha had to be at a meeting and couldn’t be there. We’d have to just figure it out.

The director came in and called for Tanya, she took her to the office to talk with Grandpa.

The next few minutes were killer.

We couldn’t communicate with anyone and had nothing really to do at this point other than to wait.

Wait for this life changing meeting to take place and trust that she would tell Grandpa that she wants to come with us and be a part of our family. Trust that he would be open to hearing what she says and that we would take care of her. Trust that the director will tell him that she thinks it is in Tanya’s best interest and trust that it will all be ok.

The seconds felt like minutes and the minutes like hours; time kept ticking.

Finally, the director was at the doorway.

She was smiling.

I hoped this was good – she smiles most of the time.

She tried to tell us what happened but we couldn’t understand. I simply asked Grandpa? Good? Bad? Using thumbs up and thumbs down to try to get what I was asking across.

She said good.


She said “pashli” (let’s go) and led us to her office.

As we followed her to her office we looked down the hall and saw an image that will forever be ingrained into my memory, Tanya walking ahead of her grandfather to lead him out of the building with her head hung low as he followed her out.

How hard this must have been for both of them.

Please, sit down she said.

We sat and told her we will try to call Sasha to translate.

The funny thing is that the cell service in this place only works in one spot in her office, in front of her desk right in the middle of the desk beside a chair. If you move to the left or the right at all, you lose service!

Ask me how I know?

Both Tanya the director and Bryan had to find that exact spot to talk to Sasha. Ha!

Thankfully we were able to get Sasha on the phone right away and the Director spoke to him and told him what all happened.

Then it was Bryan’s turn to talk to him and get the translation.

Grandpa was shocked.

He didn’t like the idea at first.

He said “what will I do without her? I will die.”

The director pleaded with him that it was the best choice for Tanya to come with us.

She told him that is what she wants and she is happy with us.

After a bit, he said that if that is what Tanya wants then that is what he will do.

So, my question was, did Tanya say yes?

This hadn’t been answered yet.

I need to know!

Did she say yes?

I kept asking Bryan so he would ask Sasha b/c at this point all we had been told was he said he would not stand in the way if she wanted it but did she say she wanted to??

I probably whispered to him 5 or more times and the director figured out what I was saying and nodded her head and said,

“Dah! Tanya says Dah!”


I ran over to her tears in my eyes and hugged her telling her thank you! Thank you so much!

We were then given the rest of the details.

Tanya came in to talk with them and she did tell him that she wanted to come with us.

He then obliged and agreed that it would be ok.

He was very sad and I’m sure a bit ashamed as he knows he cannot take care of her and yet his son couldn’t either.

He promised to support her and not to make any problems during the process.

Thank you Lord!

We ended the call with Sasha and I leapt into Bryan’s arms, wrapped my arms around his neck and cried tears of great joy as I said “YES! Thank you Lord, thank you!”

We headed back to hug our daughter and tell her we were so happy that she decided to come with us and to tell her grandpa.

As we approached the room, it was quiet.

We entered and saw Tanya in her teachers’ arms with tears streaming down the teachers face.

She must have just told her teacher and now it was a real deal for them. Before it was, ah, maybe grandpa will say no and she will stay but now, now it was real.

This made me happy to know that they love her that much that they are hugging and crying over her.

As we were going in the director was telling me “tell Tanya Dobre” (it’s ok / it’s good)

The director told the teacher to let her go to her Mama.

She let her go and she came immediately to my arms.

I held on so tight and cried tears of joy and tears of sadness for her loss as well.

I said over and over, I love you, dobre, dobre..

She buried her face into me and just held on tight.

I kissed her forehead and told her “I am so proud of you, it’s ok! We love you! We are so happy!” Now, I know she probably didn’t understand much of that but she knows it was from my heart.

As I was holding her and comforting her, I looked up and saw the teacher now in full on tears. She was hurting too and yet happy at the same time.

I handed her off to Bryan to hold and I went to comfort the teacher and to thank her for taking care of my baby this long.

I hugged her and we cried together.

I hugged the director again and she smiled and said “dobre, dobre”.

It’s good, It’s good!