Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A bit of honesty....

I have to admit, I have been avoiding posting on here like the plague.
I have many reasons why.
Namely, I have been sick, frustrated, no updates worthy of posting and outright lost at what to say.
This journey has been one for the books for sure!
It has been a whirlwind of every emotion imaginable.
I feel like I am completely and utterly useless at times and that is a feeling I despise.
I don't like to have things out of my control and I don't like feeling like there is nothing I can do.
Well, such is life in a country other than my own.
I don't know the ropes here.
I don't know who to go to when things go awry.
I don't know who answers to whom and where to go when you need assistance in a situation.
I have to just ride the ropes and hold on for dear life and pray that things will work out.
Of course, in my heart, I KNOW things will work out.
I know that this time of testing and trial is only to bring glory to God.
I have to admit though, I have dealt with this trial in every way but to bring glory to God.
I have failed this test.
I have acted out in my anger and my frustration and have allowed my flesh to control my reactions rather than standing on and believing the promises of God that we came here on.
I know that this is not an easy road, but boy, it was so much easier last time!
I have heard of horror stories in adoptions and just was so thankful that it was not our story.
Well, of course, when you submit your lives completely to God, he asks you to do things that you may not be comfortable doing. 
He purposefully takes you OUT of your comfort zone to stretch you and make you grow and ulitimately to show HIS STREGNTH.
Well, let me tell you, this gal is feeling like a rubber band that has been stretched to the limit, popped back, flopped on the ground and picked up to be done all over again.
Why do I feel like this?
Because, I am trying to act in my own stregnth.
I have thought, I can handle this.
I can figure this out.
I can fix this.
I have thought that my problem was my problem and I could fix it.
Yeah, you see the problem there don't you.
I haven't spent my time in the word with my heavenly father like I should lately.
I have sulked, pouted and had outbursts even.
I have tried to do things in my own power, thinking I've got this. 
You see, he gave me strength to come here and to get this far.. I'm good right?
I KNOW better than that!
Yet, I still seperated myself from his covering and opened myself up to all kinds of pelting from Satan and his army that was just waiting for me to do exactly this.
So, I'm done.
I'm done with this game.
I am done trying to do things in my own strength.
I am done thinking I am even remotely strong enough for this journey on my own.
Thankfully, I have a band of brothers and sisters in the Lord that have continually lifted our family up in prayer and have kept us held up in front of the throne of God even when we could not or would not bring ourselves there. 
Let me tell you also, that I have so many great friends on FB that continually post inspiring and truthful scriptures from God's word that truly do impact the lives of those reading them, even if we don't always take the time to tell you so.
I have one friend that every morning posts scriptures from his time with God that morning.
At first, I was annoyed by this a couple of years back when we first became FB friends (been friends MUCH longer than that but we'll just go with the fb time and I'm sure he'd appreciate that! LOL ) 
Anyway, this pal of mine, he would post several scriptures everyday and most days in the beginning I would see the outline of his post and know that was something that was going to convict me and I didn't exactly want to read about it.  That was stuff that was given to him that morning, not me.. only, I wasn't having my time, so maybe, it was. 
As time passed, I began to read those posts more and more.
I began to seek out his posts after a while and now, I daily log in every morning to see what he posts from God's word.
Some days, it's just a scriputre that I think oh, ok. 
Others it is like a big FLASHING LIGHT that is saying, Alecia, come this way!
I want you to come over here!
Listen to me, Trust me, Obey me.
I have several friends that post things like this and for you, I am thankful.
You help me when I get in this condition of self-righteousness and then feel like I don't want to or am even worthy enough to crawl back to God and say sorry for what I've done.
I have read several of these posts over the last few days and they are what has  helped me to get back on track.
I am not perfect.
Far from it!
I mess up on a daily basis!
I do need encouragement.
I do get discouraged.
I do have feelings and they do get hurt when people say hateful things and want to tell me to quit whatever God has called me to do.
I do question myself and what I am doing a lot.
I do also know that God has called me and he will equip me for all that he has for me to do.
I wanted to share some of the scriptures that have helped bring me back:

"The LORD is near to all who call upon Him; to all who call upon Him in truth." Psalm 145:18

My thoughts today: "If God brings you to it, He'll see you thru it." and "I can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthens me." and "No one who does anything worthwhile for God has traveled an easy road."

Matthew 6:33 NIV
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:1-7 ESV)
That one reminds me that even when I'm afraid to kneel before him and admit all my wrongdoings - he already knows, and he still loves me and wants to help me!
Placing your faith in God opens the door for Him to work miracles out of messes!
Another quote:
Only God can turn a mess into a message,
A test  into a testimony, a trial into a triumph, and a victim into a victory!
Thankful I have friends that follow this one:
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

~ Hebrews 10:24
"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong & let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:13 ♥
He made heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them.
He keeps every promise forever.
God expects but one thing of you, and that is that you...let God be God in you. Meister Eckhart

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 

Praise the Lord !

Let all that I am praise the Lord .

This is one I needed.  I needed to be reminded that sometimes, we have to command ourselves to do what we know to do.

So, with all of that being said, I am on the mend, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

I will do my best to keep up with this blog better and keep you all informed about things you can pray about and help with and not shut down and hide like I have done.

We have seen both the kids a few times since the last post.

Misha has a new name!
His new name is Aaron Michael Horner.
He is practicing saying it and is so excited to spend time with us.
He plays around saying in Russian - my name is Papa or My name is Mama along with really saying my name is Aaron. :)
We love him so much!

Aliyah is at her grandparent's home for the holiday.
This was one of the things that was very hard for us to hear and to accept.

This means that she is gone for another 2 weeks of which we will not be able to see her.
It will be a total of 3 weeks of missed visits when we see her again.
We weren't warned about this or even told, we showed up for our visit and were told she was gone.
This was a concern for us for many reasons, her bio father lives there and his rights have been terminated. We have also been told somethings about her gparents that raise valid concerns for her safety.  We were told that she had to go there and was legally there according to the petition that was filed by her gpa to the local government there and it was approved by them.
So, we can't do anything.
We can't see her or communicate with her for another week and 1/2.
This is tough.

I am praying and trusting God that he is watching over her and that she will enjoy her time with her gparents as this is likely the last time they will spend holidays together.

So, if you have wondered where I've been or why there have been no updates, now you know.
My heart has been breaking along with my body being ill and I didn't know what to say or do.
I am on the mend and praying for strength and grace to handle these situations the way God wants me to.

We still have a substancial financial need that we must raise before being able to complete the adoptions and come home. 
If you would like to contribute, you can do so here on the blog through paypal or though and mark it for the Horner Family Adoptions.

I am going to post some pics for you now as I'm sure you want to see these cuties! :)

We got to see Aaron on the Sunday before St. Nicholaus day - which is a big deal in UA.
We got to attend a program with him and they gave the kids all bags with a banana, cookie, bubbles and a juice.
Ahh a new found joy in bubbles!
Or as Aaron says.. icky bolicky!
I guess that means bubbles!? :) ha

This was our latest visit with Aliyah.
It was on St. Nicholaus day and we had a gift to give her and one for her friend Yulia from her family back in America!
Yep, remember I posted about this gal when we first got here and she now has a family working to bring her (and her little brother) home!!
These girls were so happy!
We got Aliyah a little set that had a pencil, pencil box, eraser that looked like lipstick, corrective tape and it was all princess.
Not much to choose from in the way of gifts here but she loved it anyway!

 Aaron got a monster truck!
Such a cutie pie!

All smiles!

 She is SUCH a good big sister!
Oh and of course, Ayden has the bunny ears up for her! goofy!


 Tickle time with Papa!
 This is a mound of rocks outside our house that the kids climb up everyday.
 Austin is always doing goofy smiles, I am so happy he really smiled!

Mommy wasn't feeling so hot so I was laying on the bed during much of the visit.
Aaron and Lexi came to cuddle me.

Aaron was cracking me uP!
He was pulling his sweater over his head and growling and attacking me!
Everyone got a kick out of this!

Lou Lou has lost 2 more teeth in UA this year!
She lost one last trip and 2 this one!

He's ready to go home!

I love this picture!
This is Lou's footprints as she skipped her way to the orphanage to see her little brother.
I want to live like this.
Skipping all the way, being happy no matter what because I KNOW that My God's Got it!
Cause HE DOES!  


Saturday, December 17, 2011

9 days till Christmas!

We are only 9 days away from Christmas!!

 Aliyah and Misha only have ONE request on their list... A FAMILY!

Just think, if 11 people a day were to donate $100 each day until Christmas, we would have met the need and be able to give these kids what every child deserves and longs for..


Please pray, please share, please give!

$100 from 11 people a day from now till Christmas.. that's not that many! This CAN be done! Will you help spread the word?

Donations can be done here on this blog through paypal! If you'd like a tax deductable donation, you can do so through and mark it for THE HORNER FAMILY ADOPTION.

Please know that we are not asking you to do anything we haven't done.
We are putting every last dime we have towards this adoption and have for over a year and a half since we started with Adrian in the Summer of 2010.

We came here, following God's plan and he showed us that he wanted more from us.
Not just financially, but from our hearts, from our homes.

He blessed us with not one but TWO angels.
This of course increased the expenses.
Unexpected blessings, unexpected delays, unexpected expenses..
for us.
Not for God.
He called us to this and he will provide!

Where he leads, he provides.

He doesn't always call the equipped but he equips the called!
We didn't have the extra thousands of dollars in a bank account, but we had the love and willingness in our hearts to say YES to this new plan for our family.

God uses people in many different ways to help the orphans.
For us, it has been in many ways, including adopting them ourselves.
For you, it may not be possible for you to adopt, but you can help!
You can pray!
You can give.
You can share!

We are all called to do something!
Please help us as we answer the call to these special kids!


Please help us make this Christmas the BEST Christmas for these kids!

Friday, December 16, 2011

SDA Referrals, Meeting Misha, Reunion with Aliyah!! BIG POST!

The much anticipated blog post about our SDA, meeting Misha and seeing Aliyah again is finally here!

First off, let me thank you all for the many prayers and kind words.
This has been a trying time for our family.
A test of our faith.
A test of our willingness to obey despite trials.
It has been tough, yes.
It will all be worth it in the end!
As you may recall, we had our SDA appt on December 5th where they told us that they had good news and bad news.
Good news being they were going to allow us to proceed at this time with both Misha and Aliyah.
Bad news being that we had to wait up to another week to get his papers released and start the process.
We saw both of those as GREAT news!
We had a really rough week between the two SDA appointments.
We hoped everyday that the phone would ring and it would be Sasha telling us it was time to go to pick up our papers.
That call never came.
We had to wait the full week.
We were somewhat skeptic as you can imagine on whether or not we'd actually see his papers on Monday the 12th or not.
Was this just another delay?
Were we going to be going home empty handed and have to come back yet again?
We prayed and trusted and we waited.

Finally, the day arrived.
It was Monday and we got the call that our appointment was at 2pm that afternoon.
We went to our appointment and as we sat down, they pulled our file out and opened it up to see that there was Aliyah's paperwork.
The clerk kept searching, looking, shuffling the papers.
Other clerks came in and out of the office, looking here, looking there.
Misha's papers were not in our file.
They were no where to be found. 
Lord, help us!
Please, find his papers!
We were told they were waiting for them to arrive, that they hadn't made it in yet.
So, we waited, and waited, and waited..
Finally, we saw it!
The file with the picture of our boy right on top!
I smiled so big, looked at Bryan and said, "There he is! There's our boy!"
His eyes lit up and all he could say was "YEP!"
We both breathed a sigh of relief!
As they handed us the file with the picture I gasped and tears welled up in my eyes.
You see, he is my boy!
He was holding two things.. two things that I love!
He had a monster truck in one hand and... MILKA in the other! :)
Ha! Yep, that's my boy! :)
The kids were all oohing and awing over him and saying how cool it was he is holding Milka.

They gave us our referrals and we signed the book and off we went.
Just a few more days and we'd be with our kids!

We were set to come back the next day to get the official referral to go see them and that went off without a hitch.  Thankfully! :)
We've had enough of those!

We were informed that there was a home that was available for rent that is actually bigger than where we had stayed (which is insane, b/c that was a 2 story  house) and it was cheaper too - which was also pretty unbelievable as we had a killer deal on that place! 
So, we headed home to pack and be ready to leave bright and early.. or should I say dark and early the next morning to move into our new house and see our son for the first time in person and be reunited with Aliyah!  Excited is an understatement.
I was up most of the night!
I think I got about 2 hours of sleep.

We had a long day ahead of us.
Lots of things to do.
We started out with the drive to the region - it seemed to take longer this time than ever before.
I'm not sure if that is the case or if I was just that restless to get there!
We arrived at the inspectors office in Misha's county and waited there for the inspector to give us our approval to go see him and for her to come along.
She was a very professional looking lady.
She wore a fitted bright blue coat with a fancy scarf around her neck.
I loved her coat!
She was all business and ready to move.
This was good, but I was nervous that we didn't talk with her before going.
In the past, we have gone in, met the inspector, talked a bit and then gone to the orphanage.
This time we were told to stay in the car and wait for her to come out.
We were just told, this is the inspector, now we go to the orphanage.
Ok, here we go!
We drove a bit to his orphanage and as we pulled up I was flabbergasted!
It was beautiful outside!
There were lots of play things.
Jungle Gyms, play houses, the 3 bears from Goldilocks and the 3 Bears and even a little pool!
I've never seen an orphanage like this.
Granted, I haven't been in a ton, but what I saw impressed me.
He has only been at this orphanage for 1 month.
They moved him here when we were here last time.
It appears to be a great place all things considered.

I was snapping photos the entire walk up to the entrance.
We went in and to the left was a big wooden door that belonged to the orphanage director's office.
We knocked and entered to be greeted and sat down at a table to go over things.
The kids all went to the couches she had on the other side of her office with stuffed animals to play while we talked.  She told us that she really has no details to give us as he's only been here 1 month.
We said we understood and that was ok.
We just wanted to see our boy!
She asked us why we were adopting when we already have 4 children and we are so young.
That answer was easy.
God has blessed us to be a blessing.
He has called us to these kids and we are honored to share our home, our love and have them in our family!
She seemed ok with that answer.
She asked a few more questions and then showed us to a sort of auditorium to meet Misha.
When we arrived there was a group of children practicing their music with an elderly man, we now know as Anatoly, who played the accordion while they sang.
It was precious.
The sad part was that all of those kids were wide eyed, big smiles and just looking at us like, are you here for me?  Are you my Mama and Papa?  Are you here to take me home?
It was so sad to see so many of these precious little ones like this.

As they left a lady came through the door holding our son's hand and leading him to us.
As I saw him, my heart melted!
I dropped to my knees, arms stretched out and called his name.. Misha!!!
He came right to me and was just looking around taking it all in.
All the kids were so excited and everyone was trying to get his attention, Misha, Misha, Misha..
I'm sure it was a bit much for him but he did so well.
He just looked to each one as they called him and tried to interact as best he could.
He went to Bryan and leaned in for a hug.
We played with a baloon and his puppy that Austin gave him.
We talked with him a little through our facilitator in region, Andrew.
He asked him if he wanted a family and his response..
He asked him if he would like it if Bryan was his Papa and I was his Mama, he looked to each of us and back to Andrew smiling and said DAH!

He didn't know what to think about these people who were taking so many pictures of him.
He finally came around at the end and grinned a bit for me. 
I'm sure we'll have many more full on smiles to come.
I wonder though, how long has it been since he's really smiled?
How long has he cried and wondered, will you be my family?
Are you here for me?
Finally, yes, honey, it's your turn!
We are here for YOU!
We are YOUR Family!!

Our visit was over way too soon.
I never wanted to leave him.
Yet, paperwork called.
We had to get on the road to Aliyah's county to meet with the inspector there and go to see her!
This was going to be great!
We couldn't wait!
Off we went!

Another couple of hours in the car and a stop at the notary later and we were back in her county.
We went back to the inspector's office where we had been so many times before.
We were told we had to redo some of the paperwork which was going to set us back a couple of days, but it was all going to be ok, because, we are going to see our girl!
We will be done soon and what is a couple of days in the long run right?
Now, that wasn't my initial reaction; I was furious! HA!
Then I realized, it's not worth it, don't let this upset you, hang in there!
We had to wait for a while for the inspector to be ready to go and finally, we left to go to the orphanage.
We got on the grounds and the children have all come to know us and as we walked to the building and into the director's office we were greeted over and over with "Dobre Dien"  - Good Day!
Yes, it is a good day!
The director was busy with someone in her office so we waited in the hallway as she finished up her call.
Aliyah's classroom is 3 doors down on the right from the directors office and I knew it was school time, so I kept peering that way.  Surely someone will let her know soon that we are here.
Sure enough, one of the little guys that recognized us ran into the classroom to get her.
I heard the door open and her gasp as she saw us all!
I ran past the inspector and her clerk to Aliyah.
She leapt into my arms and I picked her up, squeezed her tight and the tears began to fall.
She was right where she belonged, in my arms! 
I was shaking from all the emotions!
She was holding on so tight and rubbing her hand through my hair as she lifted her head to meet my eyes and tell me she missed me and loved me!
I love you!!
Best words from her mouth!!
She then hopped down and hugged her Daddy and Sissy and then brothers.
It was great seeing her again.
Her hair has grown since we've seen her and she looks so cute!
We got into the director's office and spent the rest of the time in there as they handled paperwork she sat in my lap and cuddled.
We told her we got to see her little brother today and would she like to see a picture?
She was so excited!
I showed her all the pictures and she hopped up with the camera to go show him off to the director.
She is so ready to see him!
I am so ready for them to see eachother.
I'm ready to have them HOME!
We are on track!
After our time there, we had to get back in the car, take the inspector and her clerk back to their office and then to move into our new house.
It was a long and tiring day, but oh, so worth it!

Please continue to pray for our paperwork process.
For us to get a courtdate soon.
For favor with the inspectors, prosecutors, judge and jury.

We also still have a large financial need.
Please pray about what God would have you to do.
We need a financial miracle.

Donations can be made through Eli Project and will be tax deductable there...
What a great thing - you can help save the lives of 2 orphans and help your tax situation! :)
Be sure to let me know you've donated there so we can have it put in our account. 
The donation link is under hosting right now, they are working to get our family page back up so you can donate there.
You can either email me or message me on here or fb to let me know to check the account and we'll be sure the donation gets to our adoption fund.
You should be able to mark it HORNER FAMILY ADOPTION but if it's not working, just message me to check for your name.

Or, if you don't need the deduction but want to help, you can donate here on our blog through paypal.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.

We appreciate it more than you know!

THEY appreciate it more than you know!

This is their ONLY Christmas wish.. a family!

Monday, December 5, 2011

God is GOOD!


This was our wake up call at 8 am this morning.
Yep, we slept that well.
We prayed for a good night's rest and boy we got it!
We jumped out of bed, into our clothes and rushed down the stairs to meet our facilitator who was waiting ever so patiently in the car.

What a way to start the day.
Of course, sleeping until your ride arrives leaves little time for worry and playing out all the possible scenarios and your probable reaction to said situations.
We had time to get ready and go!
No time for thinking, no time for debating, no time for wondering.
We did take time to stop and have family Bible study on the way out the door as everyone got their shoes on and guess what it was about?
Jesus welcoming the little children.
It said that Jesus loves the little children and does things for them.
Lord, we need you to do something BIG today for these kids!

We had no time to spare..
Not until we got into the city and waited over 45 min for our appointment.
Thankfully it was a "nice" day here today - it was above freezing and not too windy.
We had to wait outside the locked gate for what seemed to be forever.
The kids kept saying, please open the gate. 
We need our papers!
It was 10:05 and our appointment was at 10:00.
Still we waited.
When I'd give the eyes wide open shake of the head saying what's going on I'd get the shrugged shoulders and raised eyebrows saying I don't know.. waiting.
We spent our time praying and watching the people working on the church next door.
We watched the man make cement over and over and over again.
Now, I'm starting to get a little concerned..
I'm told they know we are out here and we just have to wait.
We watched the boys with the wheelbarrows bring more dirt down the hill to fill in the hole by the stairs.
Watched a few more buckets of concrete be made.
It really was watery.
We were very concerned on how exactly that would work.
Of course, we are not in the masonry business but a bucket of water, about 10 shovel fulls of sand and a half a bag of cement mix just didn't seem right to us.
Oh well, it was interesting to watch.
It was passing the time for us.
About 10:30am a woman came up to Sasha who had been out there with us the entire time and said something to him and led us to a door around the corner.
Apparently the gate was not coming unlocked and we'd need to go this way.
Making progress, we are now indoors.
We all huddled in the entry way and found places to sit on the stairs in front of the guard as we waited our turn.
The kids were really bored by this point and thankfully they did well with this change of scenery.
About 10:45 or so a lady we recognized from the SDA came out and called Sasha to bring us in.
We each took our turn through the turnstyle entryway and down the long hall on the left to the very end and took a right into the office where we were just a few weeks ago to see our daughter's picture for the first time.
We crowded around the little table and awaited the results of this wait.
The clerk pulled our file, opened it up and thumbed through our papers. 
Right on top was our updated homestudy and USCIS approval for 2 more kids in the age range we needed to get both brother and sister.
This was good news, it made it to our file.
Now, where were our referral pictures?
She continued to thumb and got up and looked around her office for a minute, sat back down and finally pulled out a plastic sheet protector that had all of Aliyah's papers in it and the picture we first saw of her on the front.
There she is!
She gave us the file and the kids all looked at the pictures in there and we looked back up to see where brothers file was.
She had nothing in her hands.
She had sat down our file. 
She had to make a call to check on him.
We prayed some more and oohed and awed over Aliyah's pictures and we waited.
She came back into the room and was going from smiling to concerned look and back and forth.
I was so confused.
I usually can read people by their expressions but she just looked so confused and back and forth.
Man, I need to learn Russian, I thought as I had to wait for her to tell Sasha what was going on.
Sasha told us ok, 2 things.
Deep breath.
Ok, I'm ready.
Whatever you have for us God.
We'll do whatever it takes.
Prepare us for this.
Ok, what is it?

1 good news and 1 bad news.
Good news, they are going to allow you to proceed with both of them!
Bad news....
Little brother has not made it fully through the system.
But, you will come back next week and we will have his papers ready and cleared for adoption!
Umm.. that is GREAT NEWS!!!
We were all smiling ear to ear and just so thrilled to hear it would only be a week and not 6 more months of waiting!
We don't have to leave them here again and we don't have to go home alone again.
We can meet our boy and hug our girl and tell them both that soon, VERY SOON, we'll be going HOME!
They seemed suprised at our reaction, but we were thrilled with this news!
So, we have an appointment for next Monday to get our papers - it is a tenative appointment as they say he could be done anytime before then and we should be ready for a call to come in at anytime.
We are praying that the papers will be done and that we could even get the call tomorrow or sometime this week and be able to get started on the process so we can start seeing our kids as often as possible and get them home SOON!

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words.
He's got this!
We need prayers for:

Misha's papers to be processed quickly and correctly.
SDA appointment to be this week to get the papers for both kids.
The initial meeting and there after to go great for Misha.
For Aliyah as she is also anxious about meeting her little brother for the first time.
For our family as we are away for another holiday.
For the financial need that remains at almost $10,000.
For our health to remain strong.
Pray for the court process and for everything to go smoothly!

Also, a special request...
Please pray for the people who have commented so negatively about adoptions.
For the people who tell those fighting in the process to give up and go home.
Pray for their hearts.
Pray that God would heal their broken hearts and bring them to him.
Pray that God will open their eyes to his love for the orphans and for all people.
Pray that they would start to encourage adoptions and support them rather than post hateful comments to those in the process.
Pray that they will understand God's love and he will love on them even more!


Sunday, December 4, 2011

Big Day tomorrow - Please pray~

Today has been a rough day.
We were all very emotional and on edge today.
Because of tomorrow.
Yes, I know the Bible says to cast your cares upon Him and to not be anxious about tomorrow.
Let's be honest though, sometimes, we all struggle with this.
Whether we worry about the car payment, the dishwasher or heater that stopped working, how to pay our bills next week or some even worry about where their next meal will come from.
We all struggle with worry at some point I'm sure.
I know I do.
I struggle with faith.
I struggle with trust.
I've been hurt so many times in my life, failed by so many that "loved" me.
I have NEVER been failed by HIM though.
He's ALWAYS come through!

Yet, still, I struggle.
I struggle with my flesh and with my mind and with my thoughts.
I struggle between knowing what God's word says and what my circumstances look like.
I struggle when I see a financial burden of nearly $10,000 that MUST be met in order to complete everything. 
I struggle when my kids are having trouble breathing and our equipment fails.
Yet, He provides.
He knows.
He cares.
He loves.
He provides.

Tomorrow is of paramount importance for our family.
Tomorrow is our SDA appointment.
Yes, we already had one.
It was for Aliyah.
Aliyah alone... before SDA realized that she did indeed have a little brother that WAS in the system and WAS available and IS adoptable and therefore is NOT seperable.
No problem, since we agreed to take both that day in the inspector's office right?
You see, there's two lines for adoptions.
One that we were in that is for children 6 and older.
We waited in that line, and came to our appointment and received our referral.
And then, found out about a 4 year old little brother, our son!
Yes, we were blessed to find out we were not only receiving a daughter, but a son as well!!
Amazing right?
It's all great except for that means that he is in the other line.
The line that requires that we must START ALL OVER and RESUBMIT ALL our papers.
How long?
Well, at least until March and that is IF the line hasn't grown since we were last told it is backed up into March.
Is this fair?
Will we wait and come back if we have to?
Do we want to?
So, what are we doing about it?


We are on our knees, as a family, all together, with one voice and one cry,
begging God to work on our behalf.
To show Himself MIGHTY in this meeting tomorrow.
We are praying and crying and praying scriptures and letting our God hear what is in our innermost beings.
We are reminding God of His word and how he cares for the orphan.
We are asking him to step in and take control of this situation at the SDA.
We are asking for it to be a smooth process where we go in and they give us our referral for BOTH kids TOMORROW at 10am.
We are praying that we have no struggles and no issues or challenges with getting the approvals to not have to go to the back of the line again.
We are praying that God would hear our cry and answer our pleas.

We had time tonight as a family on our knees in a circle, praying these scriptures to God.
We cried and we prayed and we cried some more and we just begged God to answer our cries to save these kids!
We are asking you to do the same.
We will go in for our appointment at 2am CST.
So, while you all sleep tonight, this life changing decision will be made and we ask that you pray.
Pray for Aliyah and Misha.
Pray for us and our kids as we are here and awaiting the outcome of this meeting.
Pray for the Director of the SDA and all the clerks involved on our case.
Pray for favor!
Pray that there will be no issues and they will allow us to proceed regardless of the age change due to the addition of little brother.
We've done all we can and now we must wait, watch and pray.
If you have it in you to wake up and pray for us at this exact time, that would be great.
If not, that is fine, you can pray now!
You can pray when you go to sleep.
Please just pray!
Please go to the Father on Aliyah and Misha's behalf and on our family's behalf.
Pray for favor.
Pray for clearance.
Pray for good news for our family tomorrow.
I can't imagine the heartbreak of having to leave again without our kids.
Leaving them here, in two different orphanages, alone again for months to come.
I can't imagine missing another Christmas, another birthday, another Easter and more.
I can't imagine missing any more nights where I can't tuck them in and say prayers and kiss their little foreheads and tell them they are loved.
Please, pray.
We will update as soon as we can.
In the mean time, know that we need your prayers and support, now more than ever so before.
We need a miracle from our Father.
Will you petition on our behalf for God to reign down his mercy and love and to make a way where there seems to be no way.
Pray for these beautiful faces..

Yep, that's OUR BOY and OUR GIRL!
Aren't they precious?!
We can't wait to have them HOME!!

Will you help pray us through?

Thank you!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


We have some GREAT NEWS!!!
We are now UNDER $10,000 as our financial need!

Thank you JESUS and THANK YOU who donated!

I cannot tell you how much it means to have the love, prayers and support of those around us in this process.

God is good and His love endures forever!
He will provide as He says in His word!
Romans 8:28 says He will work ALL things together for those who are called according to His purpose!
Thank you Lord for calling us and thank you Lord for continuing to provide.

Step by step.

Day by Day.
Dollar by dollar, he provides.

God is so good!

We had a need for a new nebulizer for our kiddos that would work here in UA.
We posted about it and within the day had a donation in our account to go purchase the new machine!
It was perfect timing too because, little Lexi and Ayden both needed to use it last night and have used it several times today.
I'm not thankful for the sickness, but in ALL THINGS I am thankful!
I am thankful for him showing his love and provision yet again in this!
I am thankful for the dear friend who donated the funds for the machine and I'm thankful we have a facilitator who would take us to the pharmacy and get it with us!
I am so thankful!
Let me tell you something else God did..
Just last night, I was taking my medicine and realized I was getting low on it and started to fret.
Instead I prayed and told God, Daddy, I'm getting low on my medicine.
I'm not sure how I'd even go about finding it here, if you could make a way for me to get some before I run out, that would be great!
I woke up to an email from a family in America that got their travel date for NEXT WEEK, they will be in Kiev and they emailed to specifically ask if there was anything they could bring for us from the states!
Ok, I am in tears just writing all of this!

I was so happy to read that message!
We were also able to ask them for a couple of other things for the kids schooling that they might be able to bring as well, but let me tell you, it is just so great to feel the love of my Father in Heaven, even in the little things.
It all matters to Him.

He cares about my sick babies.
He cares about me.
He cares about my kids in the orphanage.
He hasn't failed us yet and He promises in His word that he will never fail us!
He will never leave us and he will never forsake us!
He will provide and he will sustain!
Sometimes, that help may come at the very last second.
But still, it comes.
We are in the final stages of this adoption.
We have run the race and we are in the final lap, we can see the finish line.
There is a huge sum of money that is between us and the finish line, but I know something else..
He is right here with us and he is carrying us through when our legs are too weary and our hearts to faint to keep running this race.
When our eyes are blinded by the mountain in front of us, He sees past it and he is here with us and there on the other side. 
He is cheering us on and he is providing every. step. of. the. way.

We love you and thank you for providing!

The updated need is now: $9,942.00!!

We will make it to the finish line, and oh, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

All thanks, praise, glory and honor will be given to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who has made all things possible!

Thank you Lord for the sponsors of this race you are sending our way! 

Monday, November 28, 2011

SDA Meeting...

We finally got the paper we were waiting for..
The official results from the committee.
This paper was long overdue for our process in our mindsets anyway.
We picked it up and it said indeed that there would be no seperation and that we would need to adopt both kids.
We were ok with this, more than ok with this.
We were happy to have another blessing from the Lord.
What we were not so happy about is that this meant we had to start the paperwork process all over.
When we went home for the 2 weeks, we got our USCIS approvals updated, fingerprints updated and our homestudy updated.
Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!
We got back here and turned all of that paperwork over to our facilitator and prayed for the best.
We just needed the last document from the committee to proceed and now we have it.
It's time to move forward!
We went and filed the documents with the new petition to adopt both kids.
We anxiously awaited news...
day after day after day...
and, nothing.
No news.
This is so draining to have to wait and wait and know nothing and be able to do nothing for days on end.
Day after day we'd ask and hear nothing back.
We got a call last Monday morning telling us we needed to go to the SDA to find out about our date.
The process now is that we had to submit for a new date, get the date, go to the appointment, get the referral, go meet Misha and see Aliyah and then start the paperwork for court, go to court.. etc.
So, this was step one.
We were so excited about this meeting, but I just had a pit in my stomach that something was just not right.
I tried to put it out of my mind and just go.
It was just not an easy feeling.
We got there and waited on the same brown couch in the same narrow hallway as we had many times before.
Finally, the clerk came down the stairs with her big appointment book in hand, she laid it out and asked us to sign on our designated spots and said this is for the appointment, not sure how things will work with these kids but that this is an appointment in general, not for our specific children. She couldn't do that.
 When is this for and what is wrong?
Why not for our kids?
There were no answers being given.
Emotions were rising and impatience was growing stronger.
What do you mean you are not sure how this is going to go?
You gave us the referral for her in the first place and we were told about little brother and accepted him too!
You should have known about him, the inspector did, he was on the registry, he was in the process, we did our part, we went home, redid papers, came back across the world again and now you don't know what to do about your mistake?!
The lady got upset with us and said that there is a 6 month line for children under 6 years of age and we were not in that line. 
No, we weren't but we got a referral for a 9 yr old and she had a 4 yr old brother attached to her and you should have known that.
We were told to choose if we would take both or neither and we said both!
What do you mean you may or may not give us the referral for both kids?
We could not believe what we were hearing!!
How could this be happening?
It was your mistake, we did our parts, now fix it!
We asked when the date was and were told December 5th.
Are you kidding me?
2 more weeks of stand still?
2 more weeks of delay?
2 more weeks to wait for you to figure out what to do to fix this with no real guarantees?
We've been down this road before.
We had our hearts broken like this before.
A mistake on their part changed our situation with Anastasia and we had to wait 6 months and then right before we got here, they had given another family her referral and she had to go through the agonizing process of deciding who she beleived and what was the best choice for her.
She had to wrestle with her thoughts for a week with this other family not knowing if we were truly coming or if she should go with this family that was here right now.
We got this devestating news just about a week before we were on our way to get her.
We trusted God anyway and came.
We fell in love with our daughter and our son when we found out about him.
We don't want to travel this road again.
We can't handle this much heart break.
God, please help us!
We pointed out that this should not be an issue as it was their mistake at which point the clerk got very upset with us and said you weren't supposed to know he was in the registry.
My thoughts were, but you were to know.
The inspector knew and we were told as it is our right to know.
Yes, we know you made a mistake, we don't want to do anything bad to you for it, we just want to adopt these kids and be done.
She was so upset though.
She stormed off after we signed for our date and that was the end of it.
So, we have a date.
December 5th.
For now, we wait.
We pray and we trust and we wait.
We were obviously upset about this and the kids were all asking over and over what this meant and why this was happening..
Unfortunately, Mommy and Daddy didn't have the answers this time.
We don't know!
We can only hope and pray that the lady will go to the director on our behalf and present the details of our situation and that there will be some way for grace to be given and us to be able to proceed on December 5th.
With things being at a stand still for another week, I figured I would get on here and update you all as to what's been going on and what you could pray for.
We appreciate all of the prayers you all have sent up on our behalf!
First of all, we know when doing God's will and walking in faith, you are prone to attacks of the enemy.
We have felt this on every single front possible.
We woke up on Thanksgiving day to find that our business account had been hacked.
Ayden, Lexi and I have all been sick.
Bryan had a health scare the other night and passed out on the floor, hit his head and started seizing.
Our dogs were fighting back home.
Our nebulizer got fried.
The kids have been argumentative and just bickering with each other quite a bit.
A couple of the kids have been having issues with lying.
We've been attacked on just about every level possible.
I'm not saying all of that to complain but to tell you things you can pray for.
We've also had lots of good things happen.
We've had a great place to stay where we feel safe and at home.
We have been able to do lots of school work and the kids are all doing great on that front.
We've been able to get medicine for Ayden, Lexi and I to help us feel better and we are all on the mend.
Bryan came out of his seizure episode fine and is doing well with no after effects.
We have found a church to attend that we love and are so welcomed at.
We've been able to get our accounts straightened out back home.
We are still in the dispute process for some of the transactions so pray for that still. 
We were able to find a nebulizer that if we need to purchase it we can.
It is almost 500 gryvna so we decided to wait on it as long as we can and stick with the inhalers until we run out and praying that isn't until we get home.
We are doing our best to stay on a tight budget to maximize what we do have.
We did get a couple of donations this past week that helped lower our total need and got emails from a couple of you that said you donated as well so thank you!
We have emailed Eli Project to find out what that brings our need to and will update it asap!
Overall, we are doing very well.
We just have to keep remembering that we are doing what God has asked us to do and we will be attacked and that is ok.
God is here with us and He's going to take care of us.
Can I tell you just how amazing it has been to worship with fellow believers here in UA?!
Bryan and I even found ourselves singing one of the worship songs in Russian at some points!
It was so cool!
Such a supernatural thing!
It was amazing to be there praising our God; us in our language and the church members in theirs, all lifting our voices and praising our God!
The kids really love the church and the children's ministry.
The worship is beyond great!
It is the kind of worship I grew up with.
So passionate, so exciting, so involved and just amazing!
It doesn't matter that we don't know the words in Russian or Ukrainian, our God works beyond all barriers and He understands us all!
They do have the words to the songs on the screens in Russian and English so that is really neat and we have a couple of really great girls that work with us and translate for us during the sermon.
The sermons have been so on time for us.
God has really spoken to us in these messages about our specific situation.
I just LOVE how God works!
I told Bryan that if God were to ever move us to Ukraine, this is the church I could see us being a part of.
We just love it!
So, if you come behind us and would like to visit it is Hillsong Kiev.
You can take the Metro and get there.
It is about a 2 hour trip for us from where we are staying with taking the 2 metros and a bus to get there but it is so worth it!
What a blessing it has been and will be for our family in the coming weeks.
I pray that you have a church family like this wherever you are!
We are blessed to have found this church!

Thank you all for your prayers and support of our family and our mission.
We are so honored and blessed to be used of God.
We'll keep you updated!