Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A tour around the apartment and a CHALLENGE to end a challenging day.. December 28, 2010

Another stay at home day.
It was cold and rainy here today so we stayed home and played.
Slap Jack!

I know many of you enjoy the pictures on the blog so I had to come up with some today!

Here is our new washer at the new apartment.
It is also very small!
It does work now!!  

Check out the inside!
Never seen anything like it!
The top left is where you put the soap.
That silver drum is where you put the clothes.. 

See how it opens up?! 


Adrian told me on like our second visit that he likes to help and wants to help Mama do the dishes and clean the house.  He wanted to help today so we did them together!
Bryan has been doing them all of the time.
If you know me, I LOATHE handwashing dishes!
He loved it!
He accidently squirted water in my face at one point.....
So, you KNOW what had to happen next right??
YEP!  WATER FIGHT!
Well, more like sprinkle fight but it was fun!  

Here is our new stove with our pot, pan and tea kettle.
Movin on up!
We got four burners y'all!
hee hee 
That was hamburgers by the way.
They were DELICIOUS if I do say so myself!
(And I do! ha)
This was our lunch - we had butter noodles and chips with it too.
The bread here is so different.
We got some buns but ehhh...
I had hamburger  patty and noodles :)
lol

Later he wanted to sweep.
Man, I could get used to this eagerness to clean!
Austin helped with the dust pan :)
Look at my boys! 

We relaxed a lot today too though..
Not all work!
Here's my princess playing her DS. 

Here's Austin playing his and Ayden watching. 
Yes, Adrian was playing his too but he was not in the room when I was taking pics so sorry none of him playing today.

Who knew you could miss a dryer so much??
TV...
AKA
Clothes line... 

Heater..
AKA...
Clothes line...


You get the picture..
everything..
AKA....
Clothes line!
LOL

I know I have some foody friends out there so here's dinner.
Lemon Pepper Chicken
Oh and butter noodles of course..
Hey! I change it up!
They were wheels at lunch and SPIRALS at dinner! 

Oh and whatever this stuff is..
IT WORKS! 
We had to go to the pharmacy to get more meds b/c our preventative supply was drained.
It is very different here..
You don't have to go to the doctor to get an RX.
You go to the pharmacy, tell them your symptoms and they tell you what you need and you buy it there.
Pretty cool if you ask me - although, I hear the law is changing as of the new year they will have to have a RX to get meds. 

Oh and we have these..
Vitamin C tablets.
Chewable, yummy goodness!
LOL
Yes, I just said that. 
I grew up with my dad giving us these and we loved them!
Ours were bigger and flatter.
Tastes the same though! 

Oh and we use a LOT of these here 
Water bottles.
We have to use it for cooking and drinking.
Thankfully they are VERY cheap!


Ok there's your entertainment in pictures for the day.

I again have a rough patch to share with you.
I don't want you to think by any means that adoption is easy, always happy go lucky, best situation ever, dream land stuff.
It's not.
It can be and is AT TIMES.
Not all the time.
Same as with the rough times.
They are SOMETIMES.

I will PROMISE you this.....
It is ALL WORTH IT!
EVERY UP, EVERY DOWN, EVERY TWIST, EVERY TURN.
100% WORTH IT!

That being said, here was our struggle for today.

We had a pretty intense morning with Adrian.
It is obvious to me that he has been abused in the past.
My guess would be pretty severely.
He has some scars I wonder where they came from.
I'm sure I'll know one day but the point is..
he comes from a rough place.
He has had a hard life.
Not just in the orphanage.
We found out that he has been in the orphanage since 2007.
His mother and father's rights were both terminated.
His mother has since been declared dead by the courts.
What does that mean?
I have no idea!
Is she alive?
Who knows?
I think that means they tried to find her for something and couldn't so she was declared dead.
Could it mean she is dead?
Sure it could.
We don't know.
His birth father is alive and lives in the town in which we are staying right now.
No, he has no rights and he does not know we are here or know anything about Adrian at all.
He has no other relatives.

I had to update that from the story we originally  had to what we now know to be the truth.
Anyway..
This morning he was pushing Ayden again.
We have told him lots and will continue to do so to remind him and make sure he understands that we do not push.  We are kind to our siblings, family and friends.
We don't have to fight.
We can choose not to do those things.
We told him not to push and he shut down.
Head dropped, eyes to the side and arms locked straight.
I tried to talk with him and he would not look at me.
As we were trying to get him to look up and talk he was saying NO.
So, we told him he could go to  his room to calm down and he lost it.
I told him to lay down and rest as I knew he was tired and overwhelmed and just needed a break.
He was in there laying down and crying then he got up and was climbing up to the window sill.
I again told him to lay down and rest and he started hitting the bed and kicking the covers off.
I went in to try to comfort him and tell him it is ok, just rest and he started swinging.
He was kicking and hitting anything in sight.
Eyes closed, tears streaming and he was just shaking his head back and forth.
I gently grabbed his arms and layed them across his chest and rubbed his hands telling him it was ok, we love you, but we don't hit.
He then started kicking the wall.
I had to grab his pants and pull his legs over straight so he wouldn't kick the wall and he was so upset he was just flailing about.
I wiped his tears and kept saying we love you Adrian.
We don't hit.
We don't kick.
We don't push.
We love you and we are not going to hurt you.

Bryan came in and was standing by the bed to make his presence known.
Adrian finally opened his eyes and he was now almost hyperventalating from all of this.

Bryan went to get him a glass of water and he sat up and came over to me and layed into me panting and crying.  We got him a drink of water and he had finally calmed down.

He saw Ayden walk by and he shook his head no and motioned pushing.
I said that is right, no pushing Ayden.
He repeated me and he held out his arms for Ayden to come hug him.
Ayden came in and they hugged and Adrian said he was sorry.
He then wanted Papa to come in so he could tell him he understood and no pushing Ayden.
He then said no pushing Lexi, no pushing Austin and on and on.
We said yes, honey, no pushing.
Good.
He stayed in my arms for a few more minutes and we hugged and said we loved eachother and decided it was time to go color for a bit.
He tends to color to calm down and recharge.
We went in to the living room and all colored together then were back to playing and having a great day.

I tell you all of this not to say anything bad about our son.
He is awesome!
We love him dearly!
I tell you this to let you know, these kids come from HARD places!
They NEED LOVE.
They need attention.
They need guidance.
They need FAMILIES.

God has called us to this and thankfully, he has equipped us to handle what he has called us to.
I'm not saying that ALL children in orphanages have been abused or that they will all have these outbursts but it may happen and it did happen with us.
He has been great ever since and he is learning to trust us.
He is learning that we love him and we are not here to hurt him.
He is also learning that we don't hurt eachother.

I always wondered why I had to endure the things I did growing up.
Physical Abuse.
Sexual Abuse.
Emotional Abuse.
I think I have my answer.
God knew Adrian would need a Mama that can understand what he is feeling.
God gave me the insights to know to the best of my ability what he might need and want to feel secure and loved.
God gave me a loving family that saved me before it was too late and taught me what it was to truly be a family and be loved.
I am now able to have that with Bryan and our kids.
We are a family!

I am not saying all of this to toot my own horn either.
I would never ever wish abuse on anyone.
I am saying that GOD allows us to see things, to go through things that we don't always understand..
sometimes for years and years...
so that HIS NAME can be GLORIFIED.
So that HE can use it to help someone else.
All he asked of us was our YES and our OBEDIENCE.

What is God asking of you?
What has God allowed you to go through?
We all have a testimony.
We all have lived through things for a purpose...
greater than our own..
for God's purpose.
What will YOU do with what God has GIVEN you?

Make a difference in the lives of those around you.
Maybe you can't adopt.
That is ok.
Can you help a local teen that is struggling with something maybe you have struggled with in the past?
Can you volunteer at a shelter?
Can you go on a mission trip?
Can you raise funds to help these orphanages?
Can you HOST an orphan for a few weeks?
Can you spread the word about those that are adopting and help them raise the funds to get the process done?
I know of several families you could help with RIGHT NOW that are all working very hard to save their kids from these hard places.
To give them hope and a future.
There are 4 families including ourselves that I can name off the top of my head from our own church.


WE ALL CAN HELP IN SOME WAY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

What will you do?

What is GOD asking YOU to do?

Will you listen?

Will you obey?

No matter the costs?


*************
NOTE you need to do what GOD is telling you to do -not just whatever sounds good or feels good.
BE IN HIS WILL!

5 comments:

  1. My heart aches for your little man. Abuse is horrible and when you put that and orphanage together, I can only imagine. Praying for you guys...praying. Hugs

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  2. I was upstairs quilting and you guys came to mind. The words that kept coming to me were "Adrian is testing them to see if they'll send him back". He needs to learn to trust you that you won't. Just felt I was suppose to share that with you. Continued prayers. Hugs

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  3. I agree with Scrappy quilter, you just keep loving him and standing firm with him. I must also say Amen Sister, to the whole thing about God allowing us to experience certain things so that we may help someone else endure the pain and learn to cope. My calling is to teach high school, I just can't wait to finish college so that I may begin my calling:) There are so many lost children in our world who need a loving people in their lives and I know God will continue to lead you in his perfect will.

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  4. There is no way, no how we are sending him back! We've waited so long to be here and we aer not ever giving up on him! He is our blessing!! I definately think he is testing us and is seeing just how much we really do care.

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  5. You are an excellent mother! Keep up the good work.

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