Thursday, October 7, 2010

Teary, achy and longing heart today...

Not that today is any different in my longing in my heart to save the orphans, but today was especially hard.

I have shed many tears today as I look at the mountain ahead of us but at the same time realizing that the mountain in my eyes is only a mole hill in my Father's eyes.

I am praying that God will give me His eyes and his vision for how this is all going to work out.

I know he would not call us to this to leave us hanging.

I know that most people are last minute people..

Does that make it any easier?? NO!

I wish it did.  I am learning to TRUST God more completely and fully every day that passes.

I ache that we are so close with our paperwork and realistically should be leaving in 5 to 6 weeks and yet we are so far from our financial need which has grown to an additional $25,000 needed by then to get both kids.  We have raised a little over $12,000 so far and need $25,000.00 more. 

Then when I talk to my Father about it He reminds me that all the cattle on a thousand hills is HIS!

He made all of us and all of this and He CAN and WILL come through for us.

What good would it do for it to be easy peasy.. other than relieve my nerves a bit?? lol

None really.

In this way, he is going to show his awesome power and mighty provision just in the knick of time!

It is all in HIS timing.. NOT mine..

We all know if it were mine.. we'd be gone and back by now! LOL

Well, God has a plan.

He knows who can give.

He knows whose hearts to stir and he knows EXACTLY how we'll obtain each and every penny that is needed to complete the adoptions.

God is a good and gracious God.

Not only that, but he is MY FATHER!

I am a daughter of the KING! 

He's got it covered!

I am learning to TRUST Him more!

I do ache and cry and long to hold them in my arms and bring them home and love on them and care for them and give them a home with us.  God wants that for us too!!


We have been so blessed already and I know that NOTHING is too big for my God! 

Everything I have is HIS and everything I need is HIS and I am HIS and He WILL Take care of his OWN!

When I am down and I think about how much I want to just get them home, I know that God is their Father too and he wants that for them too!  He cares even more than I do that they get home with us and are with their forever family. 

I have to trust him and know that he will provide!

Please pray that God will move the hearts of those that he has destined to give to help save our children.

Please pray that God will give our family the peace that we need to get through this time of waiting and yearning.

Pray for our kids both here and there as they ache to be together.

Nothing breaks my heart more than to know I am a world away from my babies and I just want to get to them and bring them home safely!

Ayden sat with me today and cried reaching out for his bubba on the computer screen today and telling him over and over that he loved him and just wants to come get him.  That broke my heart but also gave me hope that as much as that hurt my heart to see my baby crying for his bubba that God saw that and he too cares and will make it happen and will also love it when those boys are together and happy as brothers.

Lexi in her sweet prayers prays for her bubba and that God will give her a sister everyday.  Today she decided she wanted to look for one on the Eli Project website and was just oohing and ahhing over each one.  She has such a big heart and she was just saying can we get that one? Can we bring her home too? What about this one?  What about that one? She wants to fill the house full with kids that need families!!

Austin has been asking for weeks to call or email "Positive, Encouraging KLOVE" (yes he calls it that ; O) to tell them about our adoption and to ask for prayers and if they might tell others about us.  He tried so hard to get in to them today but we realized we were calling the contest line! HA  We got home and he immediately looked up their phone number and called to ask for prayer for our adoption.  When we went to the bank to get the money to pay for the appostilling we have to get done tomorrow there was a sign  that said insured for $100,000 and he got so excited and was saying that if he had $100,000 he'd go and buy as many kids as he could .. and of course a wii and a TV for his room to play with all his siblings! lol  :) He just kept asking how much do we need and what else can we do to get it?  He then told me that after he grows up that he wants us to adopt more so he can too and then they can grow up together.  My 8 year old already has a heart for orphans!!  He wants to be like Jesus!  He tells  me all the time he just wants to be like Jesus and love and give children a home. 

I am so proud of my kiddos and so thankful I'm their momma!  God has truely blessed me and I am so gratefull!!  I can't wait to see what he has in store for us with the future kiddos!


  1. Austin told me yesterday he is so lucky to have you as a mom. =]

  2. Awe, that melts my heart! Thank you for sharing that with me!! :)