Saturday, September 18, 2010

Rollercoaster

First off, to those of you who faithfully check the blog for updates, I am sorry.  I have failed you. 


If you have been on this journey before or you follow them closely, you know that it is very much indeed a rollercoaster ride.  You don't want to do too many updates but you don't want to not give enough..
you have your good days and bad days.. sounds like life to me huh?
You have your days where you think this will never happen and your days you think we are just around the corner.  I use this blog to help me express all of those emotions but have really tried my hardest not to post the negatives.. but then again, what good does that do any of us? 

None.

For me, I don't have an outlet then and bottle it up..
For you, it gives you a wrong picture of adoption and the processes you go through and the feelings you may feel and the struggles you encounter... so, here goes...

I am going to share my heart with you and some of the struggles we have encountered over the last few weeks.. now, no, you may not have these situations as your life is different from mine I'm sure and every adoption journey is different in one way or another.. or lots! ha

First of all, you all know the struggles we had with getting the child abuse and neglect checks from DHS.. well, we have been and are still struggling with them over getting additional information for the USCIS. 

You may be asking WHY?  Why do you need more info.. I thought if the check was clear you are good... well, that is the problem. The check was not clear..

Now, before you go jumping to conclusions, Bryan nor I have EVER nor will EVER abuse or neglect our children or any other children. 

I was in a previous marriage, I know many of you did not know that and are gasping.. well, hold onto your panties and listen to this..  That previous marriage was where I birthed Austin and Alexis.  It was also a very abusive marriage.  I was abused continually and was alienated from all friends and family. 

If any of you know abuse either by experience or by stories, you know that is what they do to their victims.  They isolate you so you think you have no where to go.  No one to turn to.  No one to help you.

There were some instances of abuse in which I was pregnant and hospitalized. 
I sought out help to get out and talked with a social worker.
I was told that if I did not leave I could be charged with failure to protect b/c even though he was currently only hitting me that he would eventually hit the children. 
So, those showed up on the report.  I was the victim and not the perpetrator.
After having my daughter and leaving, I had to go to work so I put the kids in a daycare. 
Shortly after putting them in this daycare I found paddle marks on Austin's bottom. 
I was already in counseling through DHS and so I contacted the counselor and had her come and look at the bruising and filed a report against the daycare. 
I went to formally withdraw them and confront the daycare over the marks and when I told them I had filed against them for hurting my child they in turn told me that they would be filing against me and good luck b/c DHS would believe them over me.  I had this on recording.
So, they did file and it was immediately closed b/c I had already turned them in and it was already confirmed that it was them hurting my son.

So, long story semi short is I left, I filed a VPO for me and the kids.  He never saw them after Alexis was 6 wks old.  I got his visitation suspended and then later his rights terminated and the kids were then adopted by Bryan.  It is totally a God thing b/c they look just like him and they DO NOT KNOW ANY DIFFERENT --- SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL THEM OR ASK THEM OR SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO THEM!!!!  I am very serious about this.  I don't tell people about this b/c when it is time for them to know we will tell them and that is something they deserve to hear ONLY from US. 
Thank you for respecting that. 
Also, please do not ask about this situation in front of the kids as again, they do not know about it and we want to keep it that way for now. 

So, we are now needing additional information from DHS that will confirm again that I was indeed the victim and never the perpatrator and they are refusing to provide this without a court order. 

I didn't know that you could refuse what the Federal Govt is asking for but ok..
So, I have been on the phone with MANY people at DHS and finally contacted our Senator's office. 
Thankfully, our senator has adopted 3 children from overseas and knows what this is about and is helping us!
They are still refusing with out a court order BUT they are now providing the info for us to contact their attorney and get the process going to get the court order.

THANK YOU JESUS!

That is where we are now and we are hoping and praying that we can get this letter by Thursday when we have our Fingerprint Appt so we can have everything in and completed so we can get our approval form from the USCIS a week later and send it off to Eastern Europe to get our travel date!

So, please pray for us to be able to get this letter as soon as possible and that it will clear my name.
That we will get our Dossier completed and sent off in 2 weeks when we anticipate our approval letter from the USCIS. 
Pray for the remaining funds to come in. - We are short $13,500 at this point.
Pray for someone to be able to and willing to keep the kids while we are gone or for God to provide the additional $10,000 it would take to take them all with us.
Pray for peace for us and for Adrian that we will be there as soon as we can!

Thank you all so much!




1 comment:

  1. Alecia and Brian, we are praying for protection for your children from all this and that the proper actions will be taken so that you can get the required papers and have this done and behind you. Also praying for Adrian as he is waiting for his forever family to get there and take him home. God's timing is the best and its not always in our time. Love you both and your three children! of course:)

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